Red Threads - Mary Magdalene Feast Day- July 22, 2019
There has been a thread of red woven into my life, and all lives, since before I was birthed and came into this incarnation, since before each of us were born. Yet, as once again the universe strips me down to knowing absolutely nothing, unsure of how il meet the desperate grasps at security and dripping in a level of doubt and uncertainty that has been leaving me feeling terrified of being alive on this planet and unable to have normal interactions with even those I hold dearest, a feeling I have been no stranger to this feeling. This wall, a barricade of the soul that is actually in such service to my spirit, my ego cant handle it. It wants to charge forward while still holding onto everything I knew, when I am being asked from within to stay still and grasp nothing at this time. To let love gently enter into the spaces I have never wanted to be seen.
It was three years ago, almost to the date, that I emerged from a program that was called Revealed. This retreat was guided by Meggan Watterson and Kyle Gray, both beautifully bright warriors of Truth and lOve. Meggan has spent the last 20 plus years of her life dedicated to the uncovering of Mary Magdalenes scriptures and the uncovering of the other half of the story of Christianity. Kyle is a medium and angelic guide, like a directly sent angel while embodying such humanly strong qualities. They both reflected so much of my humanity and divinity to me. It was a love that felt familiar, a love that wasn't telling me what it is or how I can feel and perceive it. It was a love that truly held no conditions.
It was the number 444 that kept nudging into my awareness that brought the discovery of this program to me. I had just spent the last month at yoga school, and up to that point I truly felt like yoga was my purpose in life. That my soul was here to share these ancient wisdom teachings and practices and that would be my life. Well, we are multidimensional beings and the soul is a constant unfolding flower, what is one end is a new beginning, and back around again. The number 444 kept revealing itself, on the clock, on the addresses I was called to go to, and even a bumper sticker that simply read "444". It reached a point where it had only been 2 days since returning from yoga school and the message was even louder than when I was there. I mentioned it to my mom and for some reason her response was seemingly the typical 'avoid graces weird magic talk'- "Strange Grace, well its almost your birthday and if your interested in taking a class I would support you going." I was a bit caught off guard by her casual response but immediately felt the pulse to search for something. I went on the Kripalu website which is where I had just went to school, I scrolled through the courses for almost thirty minutes. They were all wonderful classes on how to heal your gut, Living your full potential, Yoga for back pain, but nothing was dinging in the way it felt when I felt the beam of those synchronicities. Suddenly I reached almost the last page and I saw it. "Revealed: Unveiling the souls voice with Mary Magdalene and The Angels. My mom was the one who would always speak of Mary Magdalene, always encouraging me to read this really long looking book about her, that I put off for a long time. The price? 444$. My mouth dropped, my heart sang like a choir of angels, the whole room felt like I shifted dimensions. It was not even a question in my mind, I didn't even need to read further about what I would be doing there, something deep knew that this was where my heart was waiting to be. My life had a drastic shift in 2014, right before I went to college. From that point on already nothing was the same, and as I am currently being compressed into a singularity right now, I am seeing all the dots of the journey connecting.
I remember arriving there and I was one of the youngest ones there, yet had never connected with women so deeply. They really saw me, beyond my 20 year old body, they saw me for the divine, the soul that this body contained. the maiden coming into her psychic understanding, the mother who nourishes the grounds she walks upon, and the crone whose wisdom lies in the depths. Its all I ever longed for, to be seen purely for who I am not and not the shell of stories that is holding the flame, seemingly contained. Meggan and Kyle radiated such a divine team, it was like witnessing Mary Magdalene herself sit with Archangel Michael\Jesus and having a fire side chat with all the Ascended masters about the ways of the heart, how to enter, and how to see again. Every day we went through a veil, a veil that has kept the mask upon the feminine and blocks the voice of the soul from rising. Those missing pieces that yoga school didnt exactly fill, suddenly felt like they could come forward. This inner mystic and wise woman that had felt casted out for centuries was able to step into love again. Fully, and be seen while doing it. Casting off each layer, each day and diving deep into the mystic waters of remembering how to receive the messages of the heart, the wisdom of the angelic and ancestral guides that walk with us, and the simplicity of being love.
There are so many beautiful stories wrapped into these juicy experiences and for now I will leave it all here . . . I share this right now because what that experience represented to my consciousness is now becoming very present, as if suddenly after a long cold dark of weaving in and out of darkness and light, a tunnel is found and there is nowhere to go but through the center.
This red thread.
It had been speaking through my whole life, carried from the womb and the universe to this world.
This line of fate that guides in an ineffable wisdom of sychronistic language and love revealing experiences to open, expand, and alchemize the human experience to the divine experience.
This red thread. . .
I have so much to say about you Red, and yet I still feel the pause, its not time yet and I accept that.
So as I am packing my things and having no plan and no where to go, leaving behind a dream I once believed to be mine, I here the whispers of my soul tell me all is well. It was that day that I checked my instagram, just a few weeks ago, and Meggan Watterson had come out with her newest book "Mary Magdalene Revealed". As always God, your timing is divine. If there was anyone who was going to bring me into the heart and to listen right now it would be Mary, and Meggans fierce voice and presence.
I have not been able to stop listening to her book, I am on reply two of the audiobook becuase its like listening to Mary's story is an uncovering of the lost half of the truth of my own story. Of this illusive veil that I am learning to collaborate with the universe to weave ever more in the flow with spirit. The missing peice of the feminine that has been burnt, drowned, silenced, and hung over and over becuase what the Feminine represented is wholeness. Its the dropping of borders and boundries and recognizing that God lives, moves, and breathes through All. That she was not less than what Christ is but what he represents, as an Awakened and Enlightened Human, she too achieved. They did it together, in the essence of two energies manifesting one.
Maybe I jumped it a bit quick, there is so much to tell about her and my excitement feels eager, like the synchronicity I keep receiving to go to Glastonbury, travel to my Celtic roots, follow where it takes me. Or the fact that a dear sister of so many magical lifetimes whom I just met spontaneously was called to arrange a Magdalene Circle for all genders the day after Mary's feast day, and how the book, Mary Magdalene Revealed, literally ended as I pulled my car to park. Its as little sense as any of it ever makes, the questioning ego will never understand and I am ever more learning to accept that. This magic, this mystically arranged, perfectly organized in a chaotic order of a universe is who we are, and when we open that door in the heart, its like life becomes the living scriptures, at least so it has been feeling.
Acceptance has been my core message from Mary this week. Its literally the card I pulled in circle and also the message I was quietly receiving all week, until the circle came together. Than she was very loud and clear, and will remain so. There has been a battle within that is ancient, and we all know this war so well. Something I have struggled with is accepting my path in its fullest expression and accepting my self, with all the messy decisions, heart breaks and cosmic disclosures, prayers and joy, tears and breathes. All my duality, all the divinity and all of the human. This level of acceptance isn't something I have words for yet, and I hope to never attempt to explain if its not necessary and true.
The guilt I have put on my self and the shame I wore as my own like a cloak that covered every shimmer and creative spark that wants to go off. The abuse that was left unspoken but echos in the cells remember, the trauma that created such a deep seperation from human and God. I have not accepted my humanly divine mess, my quarky calls to creative liberation, the path I walk as both holy God and human Flesh. My love of walking and weaving many worlds into one, my love to sing and speak as if life is a poetic play. The little and large ways my soul wishes to express, it all has gone in and out like a flickering flame, awaiting my acceptance so the fire can blaze... The path We walk, each of us, spirits moving through this third dimension and awakening to our capacity to embody heaven on earth. That is all that love is, its reveals what was once concealed, it gently and diligently is always here, it never leaves. The wisdom blooms from accepting both the light and the dark and seeing beyond it entirely.
When on the course of love, allowing a consumption of passionate healing light to overtake all sense and righteous self, it is not always easy. You can be forced into terrain the ego would dare never to go out of fear of death, ripped away from all levels of what one was taught was comfortable and made into stone by a silence so ecstatically filled with music, you dare never move again. Its a knowing so deep, I have never found the words other than through the poetry that seeps through me to express how much this love is the only truth there can ever be. Its a path that those who do take, seems as if a crazy myth to those who still dance with fear. In truth none of us are just average, we each hold this divine spark of love that holds the infinite potential of creation, we each contain the powers of the ego that leave us feeling binded by chains. We are each a divinely inspired human being learning the ways and wisdom of love. .
and with such bliss and love- this is all for now